Psych Ward
by Thursday Addams
Summary: When Kagome suggested that the InuYasha gang visit a psychiatrist she had no idea what was in store! Each character is diagnosed with a different personality disorder. Some are obvious, while others are totally unexpected! rated for safety. complete.
1. InuYasha

InuYasha's Personality Disorders Chapter 1 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, or Kira, she belongs to HieiLover177

Author's Note: Well here I am starting yet another fic -sigh- but I think I should be able to update at least somewhat during the school year...maybe. Anyway here's the chapter.

InuYasha walked down the clean, brightly lit hallways of the Psychiatric ward. He glared at the people who stared at him as he continued down the hallway. So far he had encountered screaming people in straight jackets, people who mumbled strange things to themselves, and a women with bright green hair who kept pointing out all the shiny things, and no one had given them a second glance, so why should he, with his red robe and dog ears, be any different. Maybe it was because he was lugging a huge ass sword around? Well, whatever it was, it didn't make InuYasha any happier about being here. Seeing a Psychiatrist had not been his idea. Kagome had suggested that they all would after Naraku's defeat, just to help them sort out their feelings about the whole ordeal. Of course none of them had known what one was, but they had no choice but to agree to it. Finally InuYasha reached the room labeled, "Dr. Jana Moleman's office."

He checked the clock that was conveniently placed directly above him. He was right on time for his appointment. He decided he might as well walk in, and if there was another patient in there, he would kill them. It was probably not the best way to convince everyone of his sanity, but he was impatient. When he opened the door he saw a small, cozy looking room. It had dark blue carpeting, white walls, and one of those cool black couch things that the patients lay on as they tell the therapist their life story. The couch was facing a brown desk, and seated behind it was a young women, who looked about Kagome's age. She had her purple and brown hair up in a sophisticated bun and she was wearing a black suit, with purple heels. Sitting next to her in a black arm chair was a slightly shorter girl of about the same age. She had shoulder length black hair and gray-blue eyes. She was wearing a gray-blue t-shirt with a black jacket, jeans, and knee length black boots. InuYasha decided that the more dressed up of the two must be Dr. Moleman, and the other woman was her assistant.

"Hello. You must be InuYasha." Dr. Moleman greeted as she motioned for him to sit down on the couch. He did so, and then he spoke.

"Aren't you a little young to be working in a psych ward?" He asked looking her over.

"Oh no! We know all about the different psychological disorders people posess. We even have some..er..first-hand experience dealing with them. " Dr. Moleman's assistant, Kira, said. InuYasha gave them a look that suggested that they may be as crazy as their patients. Dr. Moleman frowned at him.

"So Dr. Moleman, what exactly are you going to do to about me?" InuYasha asked wondering what exactly these two did to their patients. He didn't see any visable torture devices, although the fire extinguisher on the wall did look pretty suspicious.

"Please, call me Jana. I like to be on a first name basis with all my patients. I'm just going to start out by asking you a few questions." Dr Moleman, now known as Jana, said. She continued, "So, what was your childhood like?"

"Well, after my father died my mother and I lived in a castle together. I remember nobody wanted to play with my because I was a half demon, not that I needed them anyway. And well I met my half brother Sesshomaru for the first time when I was pretty young. He's a full demon so nobody had a problem with him. He's mostly just full of himself and of course insanely jealous of me!

"Uh-huh. So what were your younger years like?"

"Well, I met this girl named Kikyo. She was a priestess, and she guarded the sacred jewel. I wanted the sacred jewel so I could become a full demon, so I teamed up with her. I-I kind of fell in love with her after awhile. But then Naraku tricked us both and I ended up getting stuck to a tree for fuggin 50 years."

"Mmm...that's interesting. What became of this girl, Kikyo?" Kira asked.

"Well...she died. But then someone revived her." InuYasha said casually. Jana gave him a strange look.

"So, she was like a living dead girl?" Jana asked as Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie replaced the annoying elevator music that was blasting through the speakers of Dr. Moleman's office.

"Well, I guess you could say that, yeah. Anyway, she thought it was me who killed her, even though it was really Naraku, and she was hell-bent on getting revenge on me and dragging me down to hell, but I still loved her anyway." InuYasha said with a shrug. Jana gave him another strange look.

"You..._loved_ her? After she was dead? Please define _loved_." The good doctor said as she took out her notebook and a pen.

"Well I...hey! Just what are you getting at?" InuYasha cried angrily.

"Nothing, I mearly want you to clarify your meaning of the word loved."

"I mean I had strong feelings for her." InuYasha said firmly.

"Did these _strong feelings_ include any sexual urges?" Kira asked.

"No! Well...maybe. But why does it matter? You can't talk about that kind of stuff in this fic!" InuYasha protested.

"Oh but this fic is rated M. I can say whatever I want you ignorant ass bitch shit eating motherfucker." Jana said still managing to sound professional.

"So what did you do after you found out Kikyo was still alive?" Kira asked changing the subject.

"We searched for the rest of the sacred jewel and then we defeated Naraku. It wasn't easy, but with my talent and power we were able to do it!" InuYasha said confidently. Jana and Kira compared notes, which were really just a couple of games of tic tac toe that they had been playing while InuYasha was talking.

"Alright InuYasha, we've got your diagnosis." Kira said.

"We believe you're a necrophiliac." Jana said as if this was a perfectly ordinary thing.

"WHAT!? That's ridiculous I am no-"

"Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery." Jana said handing him a yellow piece of paper that had the date and time of his next appointment written on it. InuYasha turned to storm furiously out the door when Kira stopped him.

"You'll have to use this door. The janitors always mop our hall at about this time, and we wouldnt want you to slip in any puddles." She said opening up another door that had blue and white swirls on the other side of it. InuYasha paid no attention to the odd display of colors and he walked right into them and slammed the door behind him.

"Well that was fun. Who do we have scheduled for tomorrow?" Jana asked. Kira opened one of the drawers on the desk and pulled out a clipboard with names and appointments on it.

"Shippo." Kira said with a grin.


	2. Shippo

Kagome walked down the same clean hallway that InuYasha had been down before his visit to the Psychiatrist. She was carrying Shippo in her arms and she told him not stare at anyone they passed in the hallway. Shippo was curious, but he decided to listen to Kagome. When they reached the doctor's office Shippo was immediately ripped out of Kagome' arms by Kira. 

"Shippo! Aww look Jana, he's so cute!" Kira hugged Shippo tighter, cutting off all oxygen and circulation in his body.

"Kira, I hardly think that's professional. Besides, you're killing him." Jana said as she pointed to the fox demon who was now a violent shade of purple.

"I am not! People always turn purple when they're in love!"

"That's red, and the people themselves don't turn red, their mood ring does."

"Oh." Kira set Shippo down on the chair and then looked over at Kagome who said,

"I better get going, I have a history test to take at school."

"No, while you're here why don't we make it a double appointment? We can write you a pass for school and I'm sure you didn't study for the test anyway." Jana said knowingly. Kagome sweat dropped and sat down in the other couch thing. "Alright, now that we've gotten all of that taken care of, who wants to start talking first?" Jana waited for a volunteer but when neither of them said anything she chose Kagome. "So Kagome why don't you tell us about how you got involved in searching for Naraku?"

"Well, it all started when I met InuYasha. He was pinned to the God tree and I pulled out the sacred arrow that was keeping him there. I also found out that I had the sacred jewel inside me, and I'm the reincarnation of a priestess."

"I see. So you know InuYasha?" Jana asked taking out her notepad.

"Yes, that's right." Kagome said.

"So how do you feel about him?" Jana inquired.

"Well I-" Kagome was interrupted by the door opening. A foreign looking man wearing a janitor's uniform walked into the room.

"Sneekarz?" He asked.

"Uh..what?" Kira stared at him blankly.

"Habe Sneekarz? From vending mackeen." The janitor said. He saw their confused expressions and held up two Snickers bars. "Sneekarz." He said again.

"Ooooh. Sure!" Jana said brightly. The janitor tossed her and Kira both a Snickers bar and then walked out of the room.

"Thanks Mr. Foreign Janitor Guy!" Kira called after him. "Where the hell is he from anyway?" She asked as she bit into her Snickers bar.

"No idea. Nice guy though," Jana said with a shrug.

"Hey where's our candy bars?" Shippo asked with a pout.

"He only had two candy bars and he gave them to us." Jana said sternly.

"That's not very nice! What's wrong with you two? Don't you know how to share?" Kagome said angrily.

"Yeah!" Shippo agreed.

"You wan mah half ob the bar?" Kira asked as she opened her mouth to reveal a chewed up Snickers, which surprisingly enough didn't look nearly as good as the half of a candy bar she still had in her hand.

"No thanks." Shippo said turning slightly green.

"Happy peanuts soar over chocolate covered mountain tops and waterfalls of car-a-mel.." began to play over the speakers.

"That's quite a system you've got there. Does it just do it on queue?" Kagome asked.

"Oh yes. One time, this guy was telling us about how he was afraid of underwear, and it started playing that song from the Fruit of the Loom commercial. You know, that one that's all "Daddy wears his tee shirt in the cold Kentucky rain while a boy in pure white briefs looks out the foggy window pane and even though his hamster died he find comfort, this I swear 'cause yooooouuu can't over-love your underw-" Kira was interrupted by Kagome just as she was about to burst into a powerful chorus.

"Yeah, I know."

"Let's get on with the appointment shall we?" Jana said changing the subject. "Now, how do you feel about InuYasha?"

"Well, overall he's a good guy, but sometimes he's really cold, and stubborn, and arrogant." Kagome said thoughtfully.

"Yeah and a real jerk too!" Shippo added.

"So your relationship isn't always good?"

"Not always no." Kagome responded.

"But whenever InuYasha gets out of hand Kagome sits him!" Shippo said happily.

"She what?"

"I say "sit boy!" and he falls face first into the ground. It's kind of funny sometimes actually."

"So, you act violently just because of a simple argument." Jana said looking at them seriously.

"Well no it's not violent, but it is because of the argument yes."

"Uh-huh. Ms. Higurashi and Mr. umm..Shippo, I believe you two may have an anger management problem." Jana said.

"WHAT!? That's ridiculous! I do NOT have an anger management problem!" Shippo and Kagome said together angrily.

"I think that proves my point. Kira will give you a slip that says the time and date for your appointment with nurse Yukiji. She'll be able to help with the problem." Jana motioned to the door that InuYasha had used. "You'll have to go out that way."

"Fine." Kagome said as she ripped the piece of paper out of Kira's hands and stormed angrily into the blue and white swirls with Shippo in her arms.

Well that was fun. Next chapter is Kikyo and Totosai


	3. Totosai

Psych Ward Chapter 3 Totosai

Totosai earned a few odd stares as wandered around trying to find Dr. Moleman's office. At first he was angry with the people for staring, but then he considered the fact that not many people came in on flying three eyed cows, so he decided to let them live. After circling the ward many times he finally notice the huge neon directory that showed him he was right next to her office. He entered it and got off his cow and sat on the couch. His cow waited patiently outside the office.

"Hello, Totosai," Jana greeted cheerfully as she pulled out her notebook.

"Hello. Who are you again?" Totosai asked squinting at the young woman.

"I'm your doctor, Jana Moleman."

"Oh, okay. So you're here to help me with my bunions right?" Totosai asked as he lifted his leg so his foot was right in Jana's face.

"Erm..No I'm afraid I'm not that kind of doctor. I'm a psychiatrist," Jana stated as she pushed Totosai's nasty foot away from her face.

"Oh okay, let's get this over with then."

"Right, now what exactly is your-" Jana was interrupted by the Foreign Janitor Guy walking into the office.

"I am here to feex weendow," He said simply as she walked over to the window.

"Umm, our window isn't broke-" Kira started to say before she was cut off.

"I know I know, no visitar in office while weeth thee patient. I undarstand, but need feex weendow. I keep what I hear to myself. Eberythang is tope seckrat, yes?"

"Well yes but-" Jana started to say that the janitor could not be in the room, but he was ignoring her now and he had started to pound on the window frame with a large hammer. Jana glanced at the tall, dark skinned, muscular janitor and sighed. She decided to ignore him for the moment. "So, as I was saying, what is your occupation?"

"I make swords. My two best works are the Tetsaiga and the Tensaga, they were made for InuTaisho's sons. Both are very powerful swords," Totosai said beaming proudly.

"I see. Do you ever use the swords you make?"

"Nope. I just make 'em. I have this nifty little thing right here and it helps me ward off anyone I don't like," Said Totosai as he lifted up staff with the hammer on top.

"I see. So has it ever occurred to you that you're still wearing your pajamas?" Jana asked. Totosai looked down at his black and green striped outfit and then exclaimed,

"Poop on a stick! You're right! I haven't been so embarrassed since the time my sister walked in on me and my cow working the poles together!" Kira and Jana both turned green from the thought of Totosai and his cow in assless chaps dancing on stripper poles.

"I see from your file that it says you have commited animal abuse. Could you tell us about that?" Jana asked as she cleared the disturbing images from her head.

"I have not committed animal abuse! The only thing I can think of is that time I kept hitting InuYasha over the head with my staff, but he deserved it!" Totosai exclaimed in his defense.

"It doesn't matter whether or not you think he deserved it, it's still illegal," Kira stated. She picked up the file from the desk. "It says here that you also...committed murder? Tell us about that."

"Whuh? I don't remember that!"

"It says here it was a...Todd Johnson. From his picture he looks about 15 years old. He's tall, sort of muscular, and has blonde hair," Jana said as she glanced at the file.

"Ooooh that guy!"

Flashback  
-----------------------------

"Hey you rotten kid, get off my lawn!" Totosai yelled as he shook his staff menacingly at the teenager who was squatting in his garden.

"Relax old man, I'll be gone in a minute. Just let me finish taking a crap on your Azaleas!" The boy responded as he fertilized Totosai's beautiful pink flowers.

"If you want get off my lawn, then I'll make ya! Nessie, get him!" Totosai yelled. His cow emerged from the house and ran full speed at Todd. Todd tried to run away, but he tripped over his pants which were currently around his ankles and he was trampled by Nessie.

"Oops," Totosai said as he looked at the flattened remains of Todd Johnson.

End Flashback  
--------------------------

"I'm very sorry about your flowers, but you could have just called the police and complained about him. I'm sure Todd would have been ticketed," Jana said.

"The last thing on our file says you like to terrorize the neighborhood children. Please explain that," Kira demanded.

"That is ridiculous! I don't terrorize them, those punks terrorize me! They step all over my nice green lawn and then I tell them to get off and they don't listen so I have to chase them away!"

"...It says you chased a kid all the way to his house and stood in his living room for over an hour telling him to get off your lawn." Totosai had no response for this.

"Mr. Totosai, we think you're a homicidal maniac. It starts with animal abuse and tormenting others and finally leads up to murder. You need to be taken away immediately," Kira said as she called for the men in white coats.

"I am not a maniac! Todd Johnson was purely accidental! I don't deserve to be taken away!"

"Yesh, homicidal maniyack ish good for teh cream cheese, jes?" Foreign Janitor Guy asked as he stepped away from the window.

"Umm...no. Howard, take him away," Jana said as she opened the door for the main the white coat. Howard grabbed Totosai and forced him into a straight jacket.

"What do you want us to do with the cow?" Howard asked.

"Take it away as well I guess, it was an accomplice in the murder," Kira ordered. Once Totosai and his cow had been taken away Jana checked her schedule for the next two patients, Sango and Miroku.

Yay I finally forced myself to update! I know I said this chapter would be Totosai and Kikyo, but I wrote the Kikyo part first and it turned into its own chapter and I don't want to use it yet. It will most likely be chapter 5 or so though. Review please!


	4. Kikyo

Psych Ward Chapter 4 Kikyo

I've had this done for quite awhile, and it wasn't what I had originally planned for Chapter 4, but I honestly don't know when I'll be able to finish the chapter I had originally planned for the update so I decided to at least post this. Right now I'm working on a new Shippo chapter since the first one didn't really tell much about him. I'll try to get it up sometime over spring break maybe, but I can't make any promises. Anyway, enjoy!

Jana clicked her fingernails on the desk impatiently. Her eyebrows were knit together in frustration. The other employees of the Psych Ward had been complaining of ghosts and eerie presences. Some of them had even threatened to quit. Most of those employees did not affect her office directly, but if they all quit the psych ward would have to close down and she would be out of a job. There was something else that angered her even more, though. Her patient was late. She was a very calm person in general, but there was nothing she detested more than being kept waiting. Her sulking was interrupted when a janitor burst into the room.

"Dr. Moleman! You're needed in the west wing immediately!" The janitor exclaimed.

"What is it?" Jana asked. She wasn't usually needed to take care of a patient that was seriously ill and had gone berserk. That's what the people in white coats were paid to do after all. She looked down at her coat to make sure it was still black before she looked up at the janitor and waited for a response. His facial expression had changed to one of both annoyance and worry. It was obvious he had expected her to come running without question. "Well?" Jana asked impatiently.

"Um.. there's just a bit of a problem is all and seeing you're the only one in the whole ward who isn't afraid I just though maybe you'd wanna help us..." The janitor looked up into Dr. Moleman's eyes hopefully.

"This is another ghost isn't it?"

"Yes M'am." Jana sighed. Before she could break into a long speech on why ghosts were perfectly harmless and that she could not be bothered with such a ridiculous thing Kira interrupted.

"I AINT AFRAIDA NO GHOST!" Kira pulled out a vacuum cleaner from her gray backpack and held it up with an evil grin. Jana's frown deepened as she looked at her assistant.

"Kira, may I remind you that we are psychiatrists and not exterminators?

"But...I luff the ghost busters and I wanna help out. You know we could be out of a job if this gets too outta hand." Before Jana could argue, Kira raced down the hall. She soon reached the west wing and looked around for any sign of paranormal activity. When she didn't see anything she grabbed a yellow dixie cup out of her backpack and spoke into it. "Jana, this is Kira reporting. There's no sign of ghosts down here."

"Kira, I'm right here," Jana said with an annoyed face as she pulled her dixie cup closer to her, tightening the very small string that held the two cups together.

"Damn it, I knew I shoulda paid the extra five dollars for long distance."

"Right well, you would have seen the ghosts if you'd take off those ridiculously dark sunglasses." Jana reached for glasses but Kira stepped back.

"Noooo! I need them! And they're not sunglasses they're radioactive super sensory heat vision afternoon goggles!" Kira cried as she held on to her sunglasses protectively.

"Where did you get those?" Jana inquired. Kira waited for a moment before she responded.

"...Off the back of my X-men comic book. They were advertised as Cyclopses goggles!" Kira added in her defense. Jana sighed at her assistant's stupidity. Her scolding was interrupted by shouts from the Foreign Janitor Guy.

"Geet back joo munstar!" He cried as he drove a silver stake through the heart of a young black haired women. She looked down at the stake and smiled.

"Silly man. You really think you can kill me like that don't you?" She asked. She pulled the stake out of her chest and threw it on the ground.

"CHU KEELED MY FAMILAH! I KEEL JOO DEDS NOW, VAMPIRE WOMANS!" He yelled as he pulled the Van Helsing crossbow out of nowhere and was about to start shooting arrows at her.

"STOP! THAT'S MY PATIENT!" Jana cried racing over to the janitor and putting her hand on the crossbow. She had recognized the ghostly woman as Kikyo. The janitor shot one last hate filled look as he looked at Kikyo before he walked away, realizing he was defeated.

"Hey wait! You called her vampire woman and you said she killed you're family. That means you're from Trannsylvania, right?" Kira called after the janitor. She studied him for a moment. He had tan skin, dark brown eyes, black hair, and a tall muscular build. She was unsure of his accent, but it sounded like a cross between a South American accent, an Arabian accent, and emo chat speak. If anything it didn't sound remotely Transylvanian. The foreign janitor looked at her and began to laugh.

"Oh no! Joo habe it all wrong! I no from thee Transylvaina. I from Canada!" Kira anime fell.

"You have vampires in Canada?" She asked in an amazed voice.

"We habe all kinds of theengs en Canada! Joo just nebar knew because joo nebar pay mooch attenticion to Canada, eh." The janitor walked away still chuckling to himself.

"Well that was unexpected. Can we get on with the session now? We're going to be late for our lunch break if we don't," Jana said pointing to her watch. Kira nodded and the two of them walked into their office with Kikyo.

"So Kikyo, where are you from?" Kira asked starting the session.

"I am from Fuedal Japan."

"Okay good, so what is your family like?" Jana asked as she took out her notebook.

"I have one younger sister named Kaede. She looked up to me very much when she was a child. I had parents, but not much is known about them since they were virtually non existant in the anime."

"Uh-huh," Jana said faking mild interest. She wrote down on her notebook, "Tag along younger sister, lack of parenting." "So tell me about your connection with Naraku."

"Well, he wanted the sacred jewel, which I was guarding. To try and get to it he turned my lover and I against each other and I ended up dying and he was pinned to a tree for 50 years by my sacred arrow."

"Uh-hu...Whoa whoa WHOA wait a minute! YOU'RE Kikyo? The same Kikyo that InuYasha talked about!?" Kira asked.

"That is correct."

"But you're like...undead and stuff," Kira said blinking at the woman in front of her. She frowned. "How could I not realize it before?" She thought as Kikyo brushed some dirt and worms out of her hair.

"So, you died and then were brought to life? But that would make you a..."

"BRAIN EATING ZOMBIE!" Kira and Jana cried together. Jana raced over to her phone and pressed the black button. "Security, send me...uh...the Foreign Janitor Guy right away!" She watched in horror as Kikyo walked closer to her and her assistant.

"The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!" Kira yelled as she filled up her yellow dixie cup with water from the water cooler and dumped it onto Kikyo's head.

"Here I coom to sabe the daaaaaay!" Foreign Janitor Guy shouted heroicly as he shot at Kikyo with his crossbow. He hit her in the chest several times before he pulled out a black feather and threw it at her, pinning her to a large purple vase. He threw another black feather at her and then she started to glow bright purple and then disappeared.

"What happened?" Kira asked still holding her yellow dixie cup.

"I sealed 'er into thee art work," He said with a proud smile, "My meeshon is now complete. I can return to mah familiah." He grew enormous black wings and flew out of the office and into the mid afternoon sunset.

"Well that was certainly interesting. Glad we survived that one." Kira said dusting herself off.

"Yeah let's just hope we can survive the next patient."

Ok so that's where I'm ending it. If you caught my DN Angel reference you get your very own Foreign Janitor Guy! Except not really. Review!


	5. Sango and Miroku

Psych Ward Chapter 5 Miroku and Sango

Author's Note: So I have no excuse for not updating this a hell of a lot sooner, but I am back from my very long fanfiction hiatus. So without further ado here is your chapter.

Miroku and Sango walked down the hall of the psych ward quietly, taking in all the strange sites. Sango was walking in front of Miroku, and as usual Miroku was checking out her ass. It wasn't his fault he was always looking though. Asses just had this hypnotic sort of power about them. The way they jiggled from left to right like a bowl of jello during a minor earthquake was too much for him to handle. Just as he was about the reach his hand out to grab the object of his affections, Sango stopped and turned around to face him.

"Just where do you think you're going with that hand?" Sango asked angrily.

"Uh, I don't know Sango. My hand has a mind of its own you know. Maybe it has something to do with my wind tunnel," Miroku suggested innocently. Sango sighed angrily and kept walking. When they finally reached Jana's office, they were surprised to see two young women sitting behind the desk.

"You two sure are beautiful. Do you mind if I read your palm?" Miroku asked as he approached Jana.

"I suppose," Jana agreed reluctantly. She wasn't a fan of psychic mumbo jumbo, but she wanted to observe all of her patients' normal behaviors for diagnostic purposes.

Miroku took Jana's palm in his hand and started tracing the lines on it. As he traveled the lines of her palm, he started making conversation with her. "I see here that you're very good at reading peoples' personalities,"

"I should think I would be. I am a psychiatrist, after all," Jana said dryly. As Miroku talked, his hand crept closer to Jana's ass. His hand was almost there when he was interrupted by Sango's boomerang being smashed over his head.

"Miroku you pervert! Don't try to touch her!" Sango cried angrily.

"That's very interesting that you would think he was trying to do that, Sango," Jana said calmly. "Why don't you two take a seat on the couch while I review your files?" Sango and Miroku sat down on the couch as Jana instructed while she paged through a few sheets of paper on a clipboard in front of her.

"So Miroku, we'll start with you. Aside from your tendency towards perversion, tell me about yourself," Jana invited.

"Well there's not much to tell. I'm just a simple monk," Miroku said humbly.

"A monk with an out of control sex drive and numerous charges of sexual harassment on young girls, that's interesting. What drove you to be a monk?" Kira inquired.

"Oh I don't know about those charges, but I became a monk because I come from a family of monks," Miroku said trying to avoid the subject of his perversion.

"I see here in your file there's something about your family being cursed. Would you like to tell me about that?" Jana pressed.

"My grandfather was cursed by Naraku, and he was given a wind tunnel that eventually swallowed him. The curse was passed down to my father, who eventually suffered the same fate. I now posses the wind tunnel, and that's why I'm helping InuYasha to destroy Naraku. I need to destroy him in order to break the curse before the wind tunnel engulfs me," Miroku said solemnly.

"Where is this wind tunnel located?" Jana asked. Miroku held out his gloved palm to her.

"I can't unwrap my hand or the wind tunnel will swallow everything in this room, but this is it," Miroku stated.

"He also likes to use his wind tunnel as an excuse for his perverted deeds. He claims the hand has a mind of its own," Sango said in an annoyed tone.

"Ah, Sango, we haven't even touched on your past yet. Tell me about your involvement in the quest for Naraku," Jana said as if she was seeing Sango for the first time.

"Well, I became interested when Naraku used my younger brother Kohaku as a tool to destroy my entire village," Sango swallowed hard as she continued. "He also tricked me into fighting against InuYasha and the others, but that plan backfired on him, and so he let me go. He revived my younger brother in order to use him as a pawn against me. I joined InuYasha in his fight in order to save my brother," Sango explained.

"A very noble cause," Kira said nodding her head.

"So what was that earlier about Miroku using his hand as an excuse for being a lecher?" Kira prodded.

"It's not an excuse!" Miroku objected, "It's true! My arm has a mind of its own! I'm sure it was part of the wind tunnel curse!"

"Oh please, Miroku" Sango said rolling her eyes.

"So what else goes along with this wind tunnel curse?" Jana said ignoring Sango's skepticism.

"Well, I am in tuned to spirits. As a monk, I can sense spirits who have not found rest and made the journey safely to the next world. In fact, I'm sensing some spiritual unrest here right now," Miroku exclaimed suddenly.

"No way! I already took care of all our ghost problems!" Kira said pulling out her vacuum cleaner backpack from chapter 4.

"I think you may have overlooked some particularly malicious spirits," Miroku said knowledgably, "I can offer you my services in exorcising these spirits for a, erm, small fee."

"Just what kind of spirits do you think are residing here?" Kira asked with mild fascination.

"I'm sensing the restless spirits of some former serial killers. Very dangerous," Miroku added.

"Janaaaaaa! I don't want the boogeyman to get us on our lunch! We have to let him do iiiiiiiit!" Kira whined tugging at Jana's wrist. Inside Jana's head, a brown angry looking Hamster pressed a flashing red button labeled 'Bullshit.' A faint beeping sound could be heard coming from Jana's head.

"What's that sound?" Sango asked rising from her seat with her boomerang in hand, preparing herself for a surprise battle.

"It's just my bullshit detector," Jana said standing up and slamming her hands on her desk in front of her. "I'm almost certain we don't have any spirits here!"

"Miroku, were you trying to scam these women too! You know they're just here to help us sort out our issues after the ordeal with Naraku! I can't believe you!" Sango said slapping Miroku sharply.

"No! There really are spirits here! I swear, just because no one else senses them doesn't mean they aren't here!" Miroku argued.

"Fine! I give up on you Miroku!" Sango said with an angry sigh.

"As far as I can see, there aren't any spirits here. And your hand has only one mind behind it, yours. Miroku, I 've come to the conclusion that you are schizophrenic," Jana said firmly, "As for you Sango, you appear to be bipolar."

"Bipolar! I'm not bipolar! Anyone would be moody around him!" Sango said pointing a finger accusingly at Miroku.

"Uh, I think we should leave that discussion for a later time. Here are your cards for the next appointment, and here's the door!" Kira said quickly hurrying them out the door to avoid a fight in the office.

"Nice save Kira," Jana said gratefully after Kira had shut the door behind Sango and Miroku.

"Thanks. Who's next?" Kira asked.

"Well, we do have time to squeeze in Kirara while we're at it," Jana said with a shrug.

"All right, I'll go let her in." Kira said as she got up. She opened the door and the small white cat walked in and jumped up on the black couch.

"So Kirara is it? Would you tell us about your relationship to Sango?" Jana asked.

"Meow," Kirara replied blinking her large red eyes.

"Uh….huh. So could you give us a little more detail please?" Jana asked. Kirara replied by turning away from Kira and Jana and biting the knots out of her fur.

"Jana, I don't know that this is going anywhere. We don't speak cat…" Kira whispered.

"I see your point, but we can't just leave her undiagnosed," Jana argued. Kira thought about the problem for a moment, and as she was staring at Kirara an idea popped into her head.

"Kirara, it seems you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder! Thanks for coming to see us, although I think you seem to be handling your disorder very well on your own!" Kira said as she picked up the cat and tossed her into the white and blue swirls behind their door.

"Phew, an excellent save again. So who's next on our list?" Jana asked. Kira looked down at the schedule on her desk.

"It appears we'll be seeing Sesshomaru," Kira said, her eyes widening.


	6. Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken

Psych Ward Chapter 6

Sesshomaru walked down the hall of the psych ward followed closely by Rin and Jaken. Jaken was nervously glancing around at the patrons of the ward, while Rin looked around with mild fascination and childlike innocence. When they arrived at Jana's office, Sesshomaru instructed Jaken to wait with Rin outside.

Kira and Jana were waiting on the edge of their seats for Sesshomaru to arrive. They were by far looking forward to his session the most. When he walked through the door, Kira almost drowned in her own drool. Sesshomaru didn't wait for either of the girls to tell him to take a seat; he simply sat down where he pleased. It was probably better that he didn't wait, because both of them were still in awe of his presence.

"So…Sesshomaru….tell me about your childhood," Jana managed to mumble out.

"I was raised by my father in his palace. I lived with my half brother InuYasha, the product of an unholy matrimony between my father and a pathetic human woman. I was going to be the heir to my father's kingdom one day when he died, but he died much sooner than anyone anticipated. He was killed by Ryukotsusei when I was young," Sesshomaru answered in his cool manner.

"I see, so, why did you decide to go after Naraku?" Jana asked. She thought that she was just absent mindedly taking notes while Sesshomaru was telling her his story, but she soon realized that she had just been drawing his name over and over again with little hearts around it. She sweat dropped and hoped he couldn't see the paper from where he was sitting.

"I had no desire to obtain the sacred jewel; I had no desire to fight Naraku, until Naraku tried to manipulate me by using Rin,"

"Rin? The human girl you travel with?" Jana asked.

"Yes."

"I thought you said humans were pathetic?" Jana asked again. Before a fight could break out, Kira had been scooting closer and closer to Sesshomaru as he talked to Jana, and was now finally inches from his face.

"Yes?" Sesshomaru asked, clearly taken aback by her behavior.

"Ummm…." Kira mumbled, staring at him with wide eyes and full eyelashes, "Fluffy!" She finally said, her already huge eyes growing ever wider. She began petting the infamous fluffy thing on Sesshomaru's shoulder. "Kitty!" She cried happily.

"Erm, you'll have to excuse her. She's quite the cat lover," Jana said, recalling her conversation with Kira about what they would do when they were old and retired. Kira had actually planned on, and one day desperately hoped to be, an old spinster with 87 cats. As soon as Jana spoke, the fluffy thing on Sesshomaru's shoulder actually hissed.

"Jana! Kitty's being a dildo!" Kira cried making a pouty face.

"Well then I know a certain kitty kitty who's sleeping with Jana tonight!" Jana said.

"…..What?" Kira cried.

"Nothing, just a meaningless South Park reference the author decided to throw in her," Jana said shrugging it off.

"So is there anything else you'd like to ask me?" Sesshomaru said trying to ignore Kira who was now cooing again at the fluffy on his shoulder.

"I suppose I should ask you about your companions," Jana said weakly. She was too busy being hypnotized by his golden eyes to really be interested in anything he said.

"Jaken has been a servant for my family for many generations. Rin is a human girl that had tried to heal me after I was badly injured in a fight with InuYasha. She had been killed by wolves when I came to, so I resurrected her with Tensaiga," Sesshomaru said simply. His voice had remained aloof the entire time, but there was the slight trace of another emotion when he spoke of Rin.

"Why did you resurrect her?" Jana inquired curiously.

"I simply wanted to test my swords abilities," Sesshomaru said with his voice growing slightly colder. Jana sensed that he was lying to her, though she didn't really mind. He was too beautiful to be angry at. Jana stared at him for several long moments without saying anything. Sesshomaru, finally growing impatient, broke her train of thought.

"If that's it for your inquiries, I'd like to hear what you have to say about me," Sesshomaru stated.

"About you? You're hot!" Kira said bluntly.

"Oh?"

"She's right. I think we'll need to be keeping you for further diagnoses," Jana said pulling a pokeball out of her desk drawer. "It's pocket bishounen time!"

"What are you doing?" Sesshomaru growled as he put his hand on the hilt of his sword. Jana threw the pokeball at him, and he was absorbed into it with a flash of red light.

"Oh boy! I've got another one to add to our collection!" Jana said excitedly as she tossed the pokeball over into a cage in an open closet behind her desk, where it burst open and Sesshomaru emerged surrounded by fellow bishounens trying to claw their way out. Kira promptly shut the closet door and walked to the front of the room.

"I guess I should let Jaken and Rin in now," Kira said with a sigh, mourning the loss of her fluffy friend.

"What have you done with Lord Sesshomaru?" Jaken demanded upon entering the room and not immediately spotting his master.

"Oh nothing, you'll be able to see him after your session," Kira lied.

"So, tell me about your involvement with Sesshomaru," Jana prompted.

"I have been a faithful servant of his family for many generations," Jaken stated proudly.

"And he saved me from a bad place!" Rin interjected.

"I see. So what have you seen on your journeys with him?"

"Oh, many powerful foes! Sesshomaru is constantly fighting with other demons, and that no good half demon InuYasha! But don't tell InuYasha I said that! I'm completely defenseless without my Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken cried shaking nervously.

"Really? You're afraid of a powerful half demon that nearly killed the master that's 395834958943594 times stronger than you?" Jana asked in an annoyed and disbelieving tone.

"Lord Sesshomaru is very strong, and he always protects us from all the scary demons!" Rin said reassuringly.

"Yes, I am afraid. And I'm so afraid of that demon Naraku! Lord Sesshomaru gets really angry when we talk about him!" Jaken said hugging himself.

"And you're frightened of the main antagonist of the show? The one that manipulated every character in the show in some way or another and refused to die? Pussy." Kira said with a yawn.

"What? There's everything to be scared of! You never know what's real, and what's another one of Naraku's tricks. He could still be around, you know!" Jaken said miserably.

"Uh-huh, well Jaken, I think you've got quite the case of paranoia. And Rin, as you're still young, it's hard to diagnose you. So I think we'll be keeping you here for our child therapy sessions," Jana concluded.

"Oh no, Lord Sesshomaru won't like this at all!" Jaken said nervously.

"Oh relax, I don't think he'll have much of an opinion on this, the state he's in," Kira said evily.

"What!" Jaken demanded.

"Oh don't worry about it, that's the first step in curing your paranoia anyway, don't worry about it!" Kira said shoving Rin and Jaken out the door.

"Well that was fun. I'm so glad we have another Bishie to torture! I mean, study!" Jana said gleefully.

"Yeah, but we won't have much time for fun, because we've got to see our next patient soon," Kira reminded Jana firmly.

So that's where I'm ending it. Any suggestions for the next chapter? Because I'm not too sure what to do. I was thinking Kagura, but I'm not really sure what to do for her. There's also Kouga, but I wouldn't know what to do for him either. But it's between those two. So leave me a review and a suggestion please! I also refuse to update this until the review count is up to 20, so you better review.


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